I am Caterpillar

pillar of cat1

The Caterpillar by Christina Georgina Rosetti

Brown and furry

Caterpillar in a hurry;

Take your walk

To the shady leaf or stalk.

May no toad spy you,

May the little birds pass by you;

Spin and die,

To live again a butterfly.

When I put on Caterpillar, I feel small small small in a big big big world, a little chilly and frighteningly vulnerable. The path in front of me is simply a path, I do not feel worry about my destination for there is none. My destination is always the path I’m on.

The world is big from my perspective. I can fit into spaces of nothingness that larger perspectives gloss over and are unable to witness. This void of unwitnessed space is where I find solace.

When I’m plump and content from the greens and ‘path salad’ I feel myself growing tired and slow, too lethargic to forage ahead. What do I do now? I feel suffocated with fullness and trapped by this sluggish body. I’m really just a cute fuzzy wuzzy target that could easily become some being’s afternoon snack – goodness knows how delicious I am!

I’d like to sleep off this ‘path salad’ hangover but what I need is a safe place to rest and digest the last few months of journeying. I know this is an inside job and feel pregnant with my own birth looming. Waves of fear, grief and hesitation move through me like perfectly timed labor pains – but no doubt lingers – for in my heart – there is an unwavering certainty of what is to come. I smile.

I have just enough resources and energy to spin myself a luxurious protective home to encase me safely while I digest and grieve the only life I’ve known – caterpillar. What will happen next? Where will I go? I shiver with fear. My heart knows. I smile.

What is Man, William Blake

I look behind but there is no path. I look ahead but still there is no path. End of the road. This will be my home for the next…

Here is a beautiful brown sturdy twig that beckons me to hang around. “Hi there Mr. Twig, you will be my friend.” Twig is excited to have company and appears to have been awaiting my arrival. He will watch over me while I sleep.

I feel my weary caterpillar body fully – full of ‘old ways’ of being clinging to my insides with superglue – these suckers ain’t moving! More attachments are intricately enmeshed throughout my organs creating a stubborn hardness that aches to soften and release.

Through the discomfort and pain I feel anticipation rising through the hard and crusty walls of old ways. This excitement paints a vision of freedom that I will soon experience when my sleepy transformation is complete.

In the distance numerous cocoons sway in the breeze – each attached to their own Mr. Twig. I can hear sounds of labour pains echoing through the shrubs, their cocoons bubbling at the sides like a child caught in a zipped up sleeping bag.

Vaguely, I can make out body parts as they restlessly push and pull within the confines of their cocoon with no part resembling a caterpillar. There are faint outlines of glorious wings, long slender bodys and beautiful drops of rainbow light. Boy oh boy, this cocoon journey is soooooo worth it – I wag my tail – and yes, I have a tail because I do – because it needs to wag right now!

Butterfly Forest

I wrap the last few strands of silkyness around my chubby, fuzzy, wuzzy body and feel snug as a bug in a rug. I am tired. I am sad. I am full. I am scared. I am excited. I am ready-or-not here I come! Oh wait, one last thought before I disappear into my pathless slumber….How does a Butterfly poop???


Image Credit:  A human pupae awaits transformation. Frontispiece to For Children: The Gates of Paradise, by William Blake, 1793. England

Endings are New Beginnings


Ever feel like your foundation was just ripped from beneath you?

That moment when you feel the cliff edge has left you and all you experience is the feeling of free-fall, with no relation to time, space our matter – who, where, what am I – if anything? This is followed by gut wrenching fear in the form of nausea and acute abdominal pain. Your breathing comes in short gasps as you grip, panic-stricken, to those last familiar pieces of comfort that are being torn from you by a powerful tidal wave of fire.


Your eyesight becomes blurry and it’s difficult to stand, walk or talk as the oxygen leaves your brain and moves to support your vital organs. You can feel every pump, thump, bump of your heartbeat as though it’s protruding from your chest calling for HELP. Your feet start to tingle and your hands go numb along with their ability to hold on.

Everything you have known slips away

Well, that was day 3 of my 14 day trip to Tulum, Mexico last month. Each time I visit this place I experience a new and deeper level of being – shedding the old (whatever that may be!) to make room for the new.

This was my second time visiting this beautiful Mayan village that is fast growing and becoming more a destination for renewal and sun seeking folks like me.

Letting go has always been uncomfortable

As a child I was a collector of most everything – stamps, stickers, rocks, marbles, pets, etc, but for some reason, when visiting Tulum, ‘letting go’ just happens. No need to try, just showing up and being present is all that’s necessary.

I arrive in Tulum feeling ‘full’ of perceptions of how I think my life should and should not be. I am so ‘full’ that I feel trapped in my own being, a fullness that causes me to repress and contract. Trust me, this creates a large force of tension that seeps into all aspects of my life.

However, when in Tulum, this tension can longer contain its form, a ‘frozen flame with scissor like teeth’, and rages to release the repressed sadness that finds shelter in my heart.

You’re probably thinking, this doesn’t sound much like a holiday, but I can assure you it is. The people, the ancient ruins, the eclectic food and the music are all part of Tulum’s unique experience – Bonus!

Tulum is a ‘living village’

The temperatures are hot at 30 degrees Celsius with an average humidity of 70%. I like to stay at a place called Aerolito, which means meteorite, and is located literally in the heart of Tulum and offers outdoor living. There is no air conditioning and very little electricity, you’re basically a hot, wet mess!

Due to these conditions, the first few days naturally fall into a cycle of rest, slow movement and little to eat. This change in rhythm allows the body to acclimatize to the grounding wildness of this place – physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

On a typical day you can hear the wild pigeons cooing, the gecko’s singing, loud music from nearby casa’s playing, children laughing, candy and drink carts honking, dogs barking, roosters cockadoodling and the sound of the wind and rain on the lush vegetation that surrounds. Very rarely you experience silence in this village except perhaps between the hours of 4am and 6am.

This living makes me feel real and safe

Tulum has always called me. Three years ago I could no longer wait and ventured there, on my own, for 1 week. I was hooked.


For me, a strong and flexible foundation is key to experience a life filled with joy, grace and ease. Tulum offers to me, the stirring up of the old and crumbling foundations that I had thought served me, allowing me to see even more deeply into my truth that joy and pleasure are abundant from within.

Tulum reminds me of my beauty

A banana tree caught my attention on the fourth day of visiting. I observed a very beautiful, heavy and dense red flower bud hanging far below the unripened bananas growing above. I felt this bud and immediately connected with its contracted heaviness, bearing the weight and burden of so much potential, power and sweetness.

My host explained that shortly, this bud will mature, open and flower, and upon doing so, the bananas will ripen and fall from the tree – Ahhhh

My skin is breathing anew

Upon leaving Tulum I felt cleansed, lighter and more intimately connected to my inner core. It was a place for me to safely and concretely expand from. Perfect timing as we leave the contracted and still state of winter and move wildly into the new growth and expansiveness of spring.

When I returned home, I hesitated to wash the azure ocean, heavy white sand and ‘living’ Tulum from my hair. I cried then washed, cried then washed…..heart door opening… Saludos Tulum!

Healing from a Distance – How does it work?

I believe everyone can tap into this form of connection. You have probably experienced having a friend or family member literally ‘pop’ into your mind and then pick up the phone to call them only to hear…I was just thinking about you or I was just talking about you. We are all connected folks whether we are side by side in person or half way across the country or world.

So what is this thing called energy that connects us?

I was first introduced to energy healing when I was in the hospital 15 years ago and a nurse offered me Touch Healing. At that time I thought she was nuts, I was so not open to any of that ‘weird’ stuff and if anything, I preferred to be touched (which is so VERY important too for one’s healing and general well being, we are human after all).

It wasn’t until many years later, when I was introduced to and experienced my first Reconnective Healing session, that I opened up to the benefits of energy healing. This experience shifted me in a great way and catalyzed my path to where I am now – working with energy for a living, my passion!

Healing from a Distance - How does it work?

Healing from a Distance

Bruce Lipton, Author of ‘Biology of Belief’ sums it up in an interview he did with the Huffington Post:

Q: Is it possible to scientifically explain energy healing?

Bruce Lipton: Absolutely. There’s a concept in quantum physics called “entanglement,” which is when one energy source entangles with another so that they interfere with each other. This interference can be positive and harmonious, as with energy healing, or it can be negative.

Physicist Amit Goswami published an article in a physics journal showing that entanglement affects people. He had two people meditate together and then separated them into two chambers where they couldn’t see or hear one another. When one person had a light strobed by his eye, it caused the firing of a certain frequency in the brain. Remarkably, at the same moment, the other person’s brain also fired, even though he never saw the light. This proves what we intuitively knew, that the energies of people can affect one another.

Q: Are there examples of entanglement in other things?

Bruce Lipton: Sure. If you have pendulum clocks on the wall and start them all at different times, after a while the pendulums will all swing in synchronicity. The same thing happens with heart cells in a Petri dish: They start beating in rhythm even when they’re not touching one another.

You can read Bruce Lipton’s full interview HERE.

But what does this have to do with distance healing?

Distance healing works the same way, outside of the parameters of time, space, and matter.

I am not an expert on this subject, I have only witnessed too many experiences to doubt it’s existence and efficacy. I did well in high school and university physics courses, I even had fun with the concepts as it tickled my curiosity around my own existence. However, when the term ‘quantum physics’ was mentioned my brain literally shut down, it was a little intimidating but really, it’s not that complicated.

Today this term is being used more casually and I even use some of the concepts in my BodyTalk practice. In my understanding, when working at the quantum level, which would be working with the smallest measurable level of matter or energy, the greater the ripple effect for change and healing to occur.

And this is exactly what we want and can achieve through energy work in person or from a distance. I resonate with how Senior Certified BodyTalk Instructor, Kristy Kenny, describes distance energy work:

BodyTalk, like many energy modalities, can be practiced at a distance. Quantum Theory supports that the action of an observer on a distant particle does not diminish with distance, once a correlation is established between the two points.

Many times, distance sessions can be more effective than in person sessions. Without the distraction of the physical body, we more easily address the subtle energetic body for deeper healing.

Greater awareness is present due to the increased observation of the treatment, which also means a great possibility for a shift in consciousness or perception, making spontaneous healing from a disease more likely to occur.

Distance healing is convenient and highly effective

So if you’ve never experienced energy work from a distance, I highly encourage you to try it. Check in with your self and you’ll know whether you are open to it or not. I have both given and received distance sessions for several healing modalities and highly recommend it.

Healing from a distance offers convenience and opens up a plethora of resources that are not limited to your physical/local area – now that’s something to celebrate – we are energy after all!

Doneen ღ