Endings are New Beginnings

Tulum

Ever feel like your foundation was just ripped from beneath you?

That moment when you feel the cliff edge has left you and all you experience is the feeling of free-fall, with no relation to time, space our matter – who, where, what am I – if anything? This is followed by gut wrenching fear in the form of nausea and acute abdominal pain. Your breathing comes in short gasps as you grip, panic-stricken, to those last familiar pieces of comfort that are being torn from you by a powerful tidal wave of fire.

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Your eyesight becomes blurry and it’s difficult to stand, walk or talk as the oxygen leaves your brain and moves to support your vital organs. You can feel every pump, thump, bump of your heartbeat as though it’s protruding from your chest calling for HELP. Your feet start to tingle and your hands go numb along with their ability to hold on.

Everything you have known slips away

Well, that was day 3 of my 14 day trip to Tulum, Mexico last month. Each time I visit this place I experience a new and deeper level of being – shedding the old (whatever that may be!) to make room for the new.

This was my second time visiting this beautiful Mayan village that is fast growing and becoming more a destination for renewal and sun seeking folks like me.

Letting go has always been uncomfortable

As a child I was a collector of most everything – stamps, stickers, rocks, marbles, pets, etc, but for some reason, when visiting Tulum, ‘letting go’ just happens. No need to try, just showing up and being present is all that’s necessary.

I arrive in Tulum feeling ‘full’ of perceptions of how I think my life should and should not be. I am so ‘full’ that I feel trapped in my own being, a fullness that causes me to repress and contract. Trust me, this creates a large force of tension that seeps into all aspects of my life.

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However, when in Tulum, this tension can longer contain its form, a ‘frozen flame with scissor like teeth’, and rages to release the repressed sadness that finds shelter in my heart.

You’re probably thinking, this doesn’t sound much like a holiday, but I can assure you it is. The people, the ancient ruins, the eclectic food and the music are all part of Tulum’s unique experience – Bonus!

Tulum is a ‘living village’

The temperatures are hot at 30 degrees Celsius with an average humidity of 70%. I like to stay at a place called Aerolito, which means meteorite, and is located literally in the heart of Tulum and offers outdoor living. There is no air conditioning and very little electricity, you’re basically a hot, wet mess!

Due to these conditions, the first few days naturally fall into a cycle of rest, slow movement and little to eat. This change in rhythm allows the body to acclimatize to the grounding wildness of this place – physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

On a typical day you can hear the wild pigeons cooing, the gecko’s singing, loud music from nearby casa’s playing, children laughing, candy and drink carts honking, dogs barking, roosters cockadoodling and the sound of the wind and rain on the lush vegetation that surrounds. Very rarely you experience silence in this village except perhaps between the hours of 4am and 6am.

This living makes me feel real and safe

Tulum has always called me. Three years ago I could no longer wait and ventured there, on my own, for 1 week. I was hooked.

 

For me, a strong and flexible foundation is key to experience a life filled with joy, grace and ease. Tulum offers to me, the stirring up of the old and crumbling foundations that I had thought served me, allowing me to see even more deeply into my truth that joy and pleasure are abundant from within.

Tulum reminds me of my beauty

A banana tree caught my attention on the fourth day of visiting. I observed a very beautiful, heavy and dense red flower bud hanging far below the unripened bananas growing above. I felt this bud and immediately connected with its contracted heaviness, bearing the weight and burden of so much potential, power and sweetness.

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My host explained that shortly, this bud will mature, open and flower, and upon doing so, the bananas will ripen and fall from the tree – Ahhhh

My skin is breathing anew

Upon leaving Tulum I felt cleansed, lighter and more intimately connected to my inner core. It was a place for me to safely and concretely expand from. Perfect timing as we leave the contracted and still state of winter and move wildly into the new growth and expansiveness of spring.

When I returned home, I hesitated to wash the azure ocean, heavy white sand and ‘living’ Tulum from my hair. I cried then washed, cried then washed…..heart door opening… Saludos Tulum!

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